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Hi friends,
First, I need to call out that I know I haven’t written in a freaking minute. It’s hard to stick to something new sometimes, and when my brain is filled with work and the general terrors of *gestures to the current state of the world*, I forget to keep doing things that shake up my routine.
Okay, now onto the real stuff.
I feel like I definitely come alive as the days get colder, which is weird because I have depression, and seasonal depression is a royal dick. So it’s a bittersweet time for me; I feel more alive, but the struggle is also 2x. Nothing is easy, huh?
Apart from that, I am excited for winter. This year’s summer just sucked the life outta me. My partner and I are going to the NC Ren Faire on my birthday this year, and we are also committing to doing more things during the cold season. So here’s to getting off of our tired and sad asses and actually going out.
Oh, before we move on, this is your reminder - get out and fucking vote! Vote for the person you love that is most vulnerable. Vote for a better world, cause honey, this aint it.
“Streetlight Salvation”
When I stand beneath the street light,
a heavenly halo encircling me,
I feel for a moment
as a chosen one
living bright
among the
darkness
and I feel more
than I’ve ever been,
all for a moment and then
I step out of the light.
At least another moment
lies a few steps away.
My dear friend wrote that poem above, and many others, and compiled them into a book. It’s not for sale anymore, but if you want to follow their social media to read some of their beautiful words, it is https://www.instagram.com/tehazlewoodpoetry/
Song of the week
This is a song I’ve always vibed with. Through heartbreak and happy relationships. It’s just a vibe.
What am I reading? What have I read?
One of my partner’s favorite books is “A Psalm for the Wild Built” by Becky Chambers. That is what I read these last couple of weeks (also the Dungeon Crawler Carl series, but that’s for a different email). This book is sweet and honest. It is helping me process some of the feelings I have about life and feeling stuck in a repeat cycle every day. A few quotes that made me feel:
“We’re all just trying to be comfortable, and well fed, and unafraid.”
“Still. Something is missing. Something is off. So, how fucking spoiled am I, then? How fucking broken? What is wrong with me that I can have everything I could ever want and have ever asked for and still wake up in the morning feeling like every day is a slog?”
“You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don’t know how to answer that, because it is enough to just exist in this world and marvel at it. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live.”
“I appreciate the intent. I really do. But if you don’t want to infringe upon my agency, let me have agency.”
You can find the book on Thriftbooks.com
It's been centuries since the robots of Panga gained self-awareness and laid down their tools; centuries since they wandered, en masse, into the wilderness, never to be seen again; centuries since they faded into myth and urban legend.
One day, the life of a tea monk is upended by the arrival of a robot, there to honor the old promise of checking in. The robot cannot go back until the question of "what do people need?" is answered.
But the answer to that question depends on who you ask, and how.
They're going to need to ask it a lot.
Becky Chambers's new series asks: in a world where people have what they want, does having more matter?
If you need some hope and an easy read. This is the book for you.
What am I smoking?
An event-only cigar from Foundation. The Grasshopper. In Spanish, the word ciggara means grasshopper, and the word evolved to ciggarals, gardens where the grasshoppers were the most prevalent and thus loud places due to their chirps.
This smoke reminded me of another Foundation cigar that is hard to find/limited - the Menelik. Nick, of course, never misses. San Andres wrapper will always be a yes for me.
Blender - Nick Melillo
Origin - Nicaragua
Wrapper - Mexican San Andres
Filler - Nicaragua (Jalapa)
Binder - Nicaragua (Jalapa, Estelí)
Size - 5 1/4th x 52
Something that pissed me off
Airbnbs or Vrbo’s that have christian décor and writings around the rental. I rented a place to get away, not to read your religion’s scripture…Also, who the fuck puts a Joyce Meyer on a desk in the primary bedroom? Gtfoh with that shit. lol
What has been good and life-giving?
Lava Lamps. Why have I waited so long to buy one? I am obsessed and want more. In fact, everyone should go buy a lava lamp.
Good food. We went to Calliope in Chattanooga, TN, and holy fuckety fuck, it was one of the best meals I have ever had. Middle Eastern food made by the fantastic Jordanian Chef Khaled AlBanna, and an incredible staff in general, really made the experience.
Spending a few days in Chattanooga, TN, with my love. Also, Halloween things in general.
Goals for the week?
Try to get this lifetime warranty replacement for a dual car charger/cigarette lighter that shit out on me. Boring adult stuff.
Paint one of the watercolor flower pictures that I have. I’ll show you the result in the next email, if I actually do it.
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Thanks for reading, and of course, no pressure to stay subscribed :)
